Earlier this week I started doing time outs with Nate. I didn’t think he was really ready for it before now. I didn’t know if he would really understand that it was a punishment, and then there was the whole thing about actually getting him to stay in time out.
I’m not sure why I first used it, but I’m sure it had something to do with throwing toys or messing with Merchant or throwing toys at Merchant, but whatever it was I decided that I was going to bring down the hammer and introduce time out.
I was really surprised about how well he did. Yes, he did cry and whine for the two minutes I made him sit in the time out chair (an extra chair in our dining room), but at least he did stay seated for the entire two minutes. After his time was up I went over and told him again why he had been placed in time out, then asked him to tell me he was sorry and to give me a hug. He said “sorry” easily but only grudgingly gave me the hug. But I considered it a success.
I don’t want to overdo it on the time outs, so I’m only using it (so far) on things like throwing toys or hitting Merchant. And I’m only making him go to time out after I’ve given him two warnings. After the third violation, which usually happens almost immediately after the first and second warning, he goes to time out. So far he’s only gone to time out twice (I think it was once on Wednesday and once on Thursday).
Yesterday Nate was playing with his soccer ball and he threw it up on the counter. I wanted him to know that this was very bad as there are all sorts of things on the counters that he could knock over or break , so I knelt down on his level and said very sternly, “Nate, do not throw your soccer ball on the counter.” He looked at me, said, “Time out,” and walked over to his time out chair and sat down. It was so cute and funny and surprising that I really had to keep myself from laughing. I just ignored him, and he only sat there for about 10 seconds or so before getting down.
Nate during his self-imposed time out.
Then this morning he did it again. After throwing his soccer ball at the window I told him not to do that, and he looked at me rather concerned, said “Time out,” then walked over to his chair. I said to him, “Nate you don’t need to go to time out, but I do need you to listen to and obey Mommy.” “OK, Mommy” he said.
And then roughly 90 seconds later he was in time out for real. The lure of the soccer ball at the window was just too much for him.
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Sounds like the concept of “time out” is working for Nate. He understands it when he puts himself there. May I suggest that you take all the balls and put them on the top shelf of his closet or in the garage. Tell him that they are for outside play only. Maybe keep the small basketball and net for indoors. Hope this works!