About two to three months ago I started to notice that sometimes Nate was having difficulty speaking, having trouble getting his words out. I really didn’t think too much of it at first, but then he started doing it more and more until I had to admit that he was in fact stammering.
Stammering is like stuttering in that he has trouble getting a word out, but if, for instance, he was trying to say the word “baby,” with stuttering it would sound like “b,b,b,b,baby” whereas with stammering it sounds like “bayyyyyy, be”. It’s like his brain gets stuck on the first syllable of whatever word he is trying to say.
We had a check up with our doctor about three weeks ago, and I mentioned this to him. He said that some kids do go through a phase of stammering or stuttering, but that the vast majority of the kids outgrow it fairly quickly. I accepted this, until I began to notice that Nate was stammering more and more. It would happen every day, and each day he would get stuck on anywhere from 2 to 4 dozen words. It was definitely becoming more frequent.
Nate didn’t really seem to notice anything was wrong, and Matt and I just ignored it, never bringing it to his attention or telling him to slow down or repeat himself, and never finishing the word for him. We would just let him say what he was trying to say, then answer his question or make a comment or whatever. I was relieved that at least he wasn’t bothered by it.
But then this past week I started to notice that whenever he was having trouble saying a word he would begin to do these heavy, hard eye blinks. Seeing him do that made me realize that he was becoming aware of his speech, and that he was using this eye blinking as a kind of trick, as a way to help get the word to come out. And that made me very sad. He knew something was wrong and he was trying to figure out a way to fix it on his own.
So today I took him back to the doctor, concerned that the stammering was getting worse and now he had incorporated this eye blinking thing as a way to help himself stop stammering. While we were with the doctor I was talking to Nate and he did stammer and blink his eyes while trying to say a few words, so luckily the doctor got to see exactly what I was talking about. He again told me that I shouldn’t worry, that he was still learning to speak, and learning to speak correctly, and that we should give it until his third birthday. That would give him about 5 more months where things could improve, but if they didn’t then it wouldn’t be too late to do some early intervention and speech therapy to address the issue.
I just don’t want this to grow and escalate and become a major issue. I also don’t want to send him to school in three weeks where other kids may make fun of him or shun him because he occasionally stammers. I just worry.
To make things worse (for me, anyway) tonight Nate and I met Matt’s parents out for dinner (he’s in Austin for work) at IHOP. As we were leaving Nate and I walked past a man who was waiting to be seated. Nate was talking to me and trying to say, “Baba and Gigi, where are they going?”, but he was having trouble with “Baba”, so it sounded like, “Baaaaaaaa, ba”. The man, overhearing just this portion, laughed and mimicked Nate saying, “Baaaa, baaaaa, baaaaa.” I ignored him and kept my focus on Nate, trying to answer his question but also praying that he didn’t hear the man and/or didn’t think anything of it.
Hearing that man laughing and teasing Nate (I’m sure he thought Nate was being silly, in which case he assumed it was alright to make fun of him…I can’t even imagine what kind of person would assume that a little kid was in fact stammering/stuttering and still make fun of him) made my protective Momma Bear instincts flare up instantly. My sweet, innocent little boy was being teased and I was furious. Maybe it’s because we’ve been watching a lot of “Dumbo” lately, but I felt like Dumbo’s mommy when she goes crazy trying to protect him after the boys at the circus make fun of him for his big ears. The trainers take Mrs. Jumbo away and lock her in a trailer with a big sign posted saying, “Mad Elephant.” Tonight I felt a little like a mad elephant.
I don’t ever want Nate to think that something is wrong with him, but more than that I don’t ever want him to know what it’s like to be mad fun of for that something. I really, really hope I’m making a big deal out of nothing and that in a few months he outgrows this. But I know that if it’s not this then at some point there will probably be at least 15 other things be will be teased about.
So I guess this momma elephant is going to need to toughen up a bit herself before she will be able to teach her son to do the same.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Don’t worry about other kids teasing Nate. They are stammering too. Henry does this when he gets excited–”He-He-He-Henry needs a po-po-po-popsicle…”
Also, if you are really concerned, look up on your county’s website to see if there are early intervention services. Sometimes they place out at age 3, but at least in VA, it is free to get your child evaluated and you do not need a dr’s referral. But seriously, Stammering and stuttering is par for the course for boys at this age.
And lastly, as a mom with a kid who did Speeech therapy for a year, I will say this–life is hard. Our kids will be made fun of. Sometimes they’ll be the ones making fun of others. They will get hurt. They won’t be the best at everything they try. This is okay. Because that’s not what life is all about. What’s important is that Nate knows he is loved–by you and by Jesus.
Hey there – just saw your video of Nate singing and he was great!
I have to tell you that Jackson had difficulty getting words out too when we was the same age. He did the eye blinking thing and everything. I asked the doctor and got the same remark. He did eventually grow out of it, but you always have to go with your motherly instinct.
As for the jerk at IHOP – they are out there…I hate mean people. Of all things – you never laugh at a child, but mothers will always worry about people picking on their kids. I do it every day. Jackson has stories, but he never complains. Some kid kicked dirt on him and Jackson waked away. The kid came back and asked him to play with him and Jackson said no. I was so proud, but it tore me up inside knowing someone was mean to my baby.
Nate is just perfect….and you are an amazing mommy….you will tackle all these obstacles together and learn so much about each other in the process. That’s the journey lady…the good with the bad (but mostly good – right?)
Hi y’all- I haven’t had my laptop hooked up since returning to NV, so I am just catching up with your postings. Courtney, you could pull up a chart/list of speech development sounds, words, phrases from the web, then print it out. From what you are saying about Nate’s speech I think he is right where he should be for a 2.5 yr. old. He is just beginning to experience language and learning how and when to put sounds together to form words and phrases to get his point across. The little ones @ age 3-4 that I have seen in speech therapy in the school district have more severe problems.
As for the adult who mimicked Nate- Wow, what an idiot! It is best to ignore adults who are acting like babies themselves! Some advice> Just stop worrying, Nate is doing just fine!!